Roseman and Reid have made all their noise for now. Last week was all about Roger Goodell being the man, Roger Goodell being a dick, and Drew Stanton somehow deciding he was the biggest, most important part of the Tim Tebow thing.
So we're now at the "rampant speculation" part of the offseason, which is just plain awesome, because it means Bleacher Report becomes simply incredible. It mutates into a parody of its already cartoonish nature. I can't get enough of it.
In all likelihood, you've stumbled upon Bleacher Report on your own in the past, though you swear it was by accident. It's okay, friend. Happens to the best of us. Sometimes you're groggily scanning your Internet-providing machine of choice late at night, digging for sports news or factoids in Google News, and you come across a bewildering headline like "Should Trent Cole Move to Linebacker?" Baffled, you click though to find a five-picture slideshow of Trent Cole looking like a football player with five absolutely fantastic reasons for moving him to linebacker with each picture. ("1. The Eagles Need a Linebacker. 2. Linebackers Are Sometimes Defensive Ends Too. 3. It Would Be Really Funny. 4. I Love Trent Cole. 5. The Eagles Can Totally Still Count on Near-Cripple Brandon Graham.")
The main problem with Bleacher Report is their tagline "Open source sports network that caters to citizen journalism." I don't want "citizen anything." I don't want indignant assholes making citizens' arrests, I don't want citizen electricians fixing downed power lines and I don't want a citizen surgeon doing anything to anyone ever. There's already a home for "citizen journalists," and it's on WIP, or stupid websites like this.
The problem is that stuff from Bleacher Report shows up under the NEWS tab of Google. And unless Paul Sturgess signs with the Eagles soon, the next four weeks of Eagles searches on news sites will be the denizens of Bleachertopia losing their f***ing minds. (Note: Asante Samuel being on the trade block is not news because Asante Samuel has been on the trade block
While I come up with more feature ideas for the blog, let's start one here. Every week we'll take a look at three BR articles or slideshows that have no equal. I'm not going to pretend we're going to break it down or go into explicit detail, because we're just going to make fun of it a lot. Hope you're okay with that.
1. Three Affordable Free Agent Running Backs for the No. 2 Spot
There are three running backs on this list, all of whom are Ronnie Brown. On a related note, the Eagles tried to trade Ronnie Brown in October for a running back with a brain tumor. (You could also compare the play styles of those three running backs to Mike Bell, who...was actually traded for the same running back a few years earlier
2. Drafting a QB Early May Give Andy Reid Job Security
Yes, instability is bad for a young quarterback, so because teams never make dumb or rash staffing decisions, there's no way Andy Reid will be fired if he drafts a quarterback to be the backup for Mikey "I Still Have Five Years and a Wazillion Dollars of Guaranteed Money Left On My Contract" Vick. (Kind of surprised that hasn't caught on as a nickname yet)
3. The Five Biggest Draft Needs for the Philadelphia Eagles
Well...the first and last one make sense. Sure.
Also, before we go, a moment of silence for the late Marion Barber III.